How to Find a Career That Makes You Happy - The Muse

How to Find a Career That Makes You Happy - The MuseHow to Find a Career That Makes You Happy You chased that promotion because it was the next logical step (and ignored the fact that youre not inspired by your job). You keep crunching numbers because others expect it from you (even though youd rather work with people). Youre holding off on making a career switch because everyone will think youve gone crazy.Sound familiar?Do you know that sinking feeling that pops up each morning, as you dread going into the office? Is that pit in your stomach starting to feel all too familiar? From the outside looking in, you have plenty to be happy about, but you cant help feeling unfulfilled.Not that youd ever admit that out loud. It has become your dirty little secret. In fact, you believe youre the only one whos struggling, and it feels as if youre failing and letting everyone (yourself included) down. Well, youre definitely not the only one keeping unhappy feelings carefully tucked away behind hard work and a pretend happy smile. Ive seen it happen so many times, and Ive been there, too.The good news is It doesnt have to be that way Here are three practical steps to help you find your way back.1. Stop PretendingThe first step is to be honest with yourself. As simple as it sounds, this can be the hardest thing to do- but its also the most important. Pushing your unhappy feelings away wont make them disappear.Pretending you like your job only makes you a better pretender. It makes you work hard to build a career thats not fulfilling, and will never be no matter how hard you try. Related 10 Loud-and-Clear Signs its Time to Look for a New JobYou need to see the issue before you can solve it. Naturally, you cannot solve a problem when you pretend there isnt one. So, be really honest with yourself- no self-censoring allowed. (Youll be amazed at how good that feels)Try this script If Im being really honest with myself, I feel blank. Often I feel like I should do more blank and do less blank. It feels as if I should be more blank and be less blank. If I could be anything I wanted and everyone would approve, Id love to do blank and be more blank, but I feel I cant because blank.2. Let Go of Should and CantMost likely, youve uncovered a lot of shoulds and cants in step one.I cant quit medical school and pursue another career, because my parents expect me to be a doctor.I should be grateful that I have a full-time job with benefits- even if I hate it. Instead of focusing on what will make you feel happy and fulfilled, youre living according to the shoulds, cants, and supposed tos. In reality, youve built a career (and maybe a life) that looks good on the outside but feels rather empty on the inside.And, youve probably come to believe that youre simply not trying hard enough. You think that if you work a little harder and commit a little more, youll get your happiness back.But its not a lack of work ethic thats the root of your problem Its that you are forcin g yourself to walk a career path that isnt your own. Or, maybe youre in the right role, but it doesnt feel like a good fit, because youre holding back and not bringing your unique strengths, ideas, and voice to the job.So, take a good look at your shoulds and question them. Walk through this exerciseI believe I should blank and it feels like thats a non-negotiable rule. But in fact, if anything were possible, I could brainstorm three things you could do or be instead1. 2. 3.Actually, here are three good reasons why that would be a win-win for everyone involved1. 2. 3.Repeat this for each of your shoulds. When you allow yourself to honestly assess your activities and commitments, youll likely find that your priorities and what truly matters to you become clearer than ever. And youll be amazed by how much more energized and empowered youll feel. 3. Start SmallThis is where the rubber meets the road. Because only doing different things- or doing things differently- will create a real c hange in your life.Pay attention to what youve learned in steps one and two- as well as what really energizes and fascinates you. Then, do a little of that each day. Pitch an idea to a supportive supervisor. Partner with a detail-oriented colleague. Proposing new initiatives (or declining, if thats what you need to work on) will help right your course. You dont need to burn bridges or make big, sweeping changes overnight. Plotting big steps sounds sexy, but in reality it often just leads to procrastination, without the actual doing. Small steps create real change and provide momentum to keep going.If youve been feeling trapped in your career for a while now, theres no reason to just keep pretending. Instead, think about what youd like to be doing, and take small steps to get there.Change is never easy. But, its a whole lot better than pretending. Promise. Photo of unhappy woman courtesy of Shutterstock.